Several years ago, 2008, I wrote a list of 12 personal growth steps (in no particular order) that would create within a person a steady state of presence. One of those items a sense of boundlessness. At the time I had not examined that list to fully understand what they meant to me or anyone else.
In the last 6 weeks I have begun to understand the sense of boundlessness by experiencing the steady overrun of personal space boundaries. This overrun of my personal space created an emotional and physical irritation that grew to a level where I thought I would get in the car drive away and just keep driving, Peru sounded good.
My sweetie and I had decided to take a 6 week RV vacation. We would drive to San Jose and see the kids and then drive to Tucson and spend the month of January in the sunshine. The first two weeks were fine. The time with family in San Jose was wonderful. The sunshine was a great plan and the resort was lovely with lots of nice people, facilities, classes and activities. What could go wrong? The RV is 24 feet. Mike got a cold that lingered for almost 3 weeks with lots of sleepless nights of coughing. NO privacy or quiet time was to be found. I tried hiding in the craft room and even that went sideways with the continual interruption of the roving security. All of the activity labs were a continual hum of activity and people vying for space.
I needed to have quiet uninterrupted space to align self and spirit. I needed to write. It’s a strange sensation; there’s a tension that builds within me when I feel stopped from writing. When I can place a few written words in my well worn journal I feel in balance. At the resort I would get up at 4 a.m. and go outside to sit in the 37 degree darkness. There was no quiet to be had there either. In an RV resort you are very close to another tiny house/RV. The RV resort echoed with noise in the cold morning hours with the nearby freeway and air force base.
Four weeks into this assault on my inner peace, I needed to access inner skills to survive the remainder of my time on this “vacation”. So I gave myself a pep talk and some self examination. I told myself that I have all the tools needed within me to move myself to another state of mind. OK. One thought led to another thought which led me to the concept of boundlessness that I written about almost ten years ago. I acknowledged that it had been almost a year since I had written new material for “Healer Wisdom”. I acknowledged that in that year I had developed one chronic ailment after another. I was stopping the flow of energy in my body, creating a de-vitalized energy that was being reflected in my outer experience. The outside world was reflecting my inner world. I was creating this experience of no inner or outer peace.
What is the experience of weak boundaries, healthy boundaries, and boundlessness?
“Weak boundaries or healthy boundaries are states of fear. Boundlessness is a state of flow.”
People who are said to healthy boundaries are known to be clear about what they allow. If boundaries are overly strong they are called walls. Only specific qualities of life are allowed to cross over these boundaries. Strong boundaries can be expressed as an overreaction to a perceived violation of a person’s set boundaries. Healthy boundaries are more subtle. The feeling and emotion of healthy boundaries does not feel overt. The qualities of healthy boundaries speak to not letting people take advantage of you. There is a need to balance the energies of give and take. Healthy boundaries define your idea of self. Healthy boundaries define what we allow in our relations and hence define us. Boundaries put parameters around what we will experience. In both cases of strong and healthy boundaries there is an underlying dualistic worldview. This worldview projects a possibility that allowing experiences of a certain quality would create a breach of boundaries. Our boundaries define our fear.
Weak boundaries are based in fear. This is fear at an instinctual level. A person with weak boundaries believes that an expression of self within the context of boundaries would result in physical harm. A person with weak boundaries allows others to define them. Empaths often take on the energy of others and have lost the ability to differentiate ownership. The empathic sense may have been developed within an individual as a means of childhood survival. Once they reached adulthood and left the environment that created the need to be empathic they found that being empathic served them until they realize that by hanging on to this “way” of being in the world was only serving to create the experience of more pain.
Boundlessness is a full experience of life’s flow. Boundless does not stop grief, sadness, happiness, or sensory information when it flows through us. In this state we allow for the flow of energy until there is no longer a need to experience the information these states provide us. We experience the flow of boundlessness by being present to the experience in that moment of time. When you experience a loss you are also experiencing the loss of what that experience supplied you. If you hang onto that experience of loss, it’s like anything you put in the refrigerator except in this case you are putting it into your body; in time it will become toxic to your emotional and physical body.